Tag Archives: Yakmala!

A Bad Movie Roundup

Posted on December 30, 2016 by Justin

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! If you’re anything like me, you love terrible films. In the bad movie club to which I belong, Yakmala, we’ve watched a lot of truly awful crimes against good taste. Here are some reviews … Continue reading →

Posted in Puffery | Tagged After Earth, After Last Season, Alex Cross, Ator the Fighting Eagle, Barbarian Queen, Battle of the Year, Battlefield Earth, Blood Freak, Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo, breaking dawn part 1, breaking dawn part 2, Bride of the Monster, Catwoman, color of night, Deathstalker, Delinquent Daughters, devil, Diamond Ninja Force, Double Down, Dreamcatcher, eclipse, Escape from Galaxy 3, Exterminator City, Fantastic Four, Fateful Findings, Fireproof, Flashdance, From Justin to Kelly, Glen or Glenda, Gor, Gymkata, in the name of the king, Jaws: The Revenge, Judge Dredd, Kindergarten Ninja, man of steel, Manos The Hands of Fate, New Moon, Next, Ninja III: The Domination, Ninja Thunderbolt, No Holds Barred, North, Omoo-Omoo the Shark God, Paparazzi, Passion Play, Perfect Stranger, Pink Force Commando, Plan 9 from Outer Space, prometheus, Quigley, Revenge of the Red Baron, Samurai Cop, Sex Madness, Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones, Starcrash, Stealth, steel, Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li, Street Trash, sucker punch, superman iii, Superman iv the Quest for Peace, Swimfan, The Avengers, The Beaver, The Cocaine Fiends, The Crocodile Hunter: Collision Course, The Hand That Rocks the Cradle, The Human Centipede, The Spirit, The Vampire Raiders, The Warrior and the Sorceress, Tiptoes, Troll 2, Tuff Turf, twilight, vampire dentist, Warrior of the Lost World, Winter's Tale, Yakmala!, Yor the Hunter from the Future | Leave a comment

Yakmala: Jaws: The Revenge

Posted on December 23, 2016 by Justin

The original Jaws is a better movie than Mother Theresa is a person. That’s either the most or least controversial thing I’ve ever said, depending on who you are, but I’ll stand by it. The sequels, though, range from pointless … Continue reading →

Posted in Projected Pixels and Emulsion | Tagged exploding shark, jaws, Jaws: The Revenge, shark stalking on vacation, voodoo shark, What are you doing here shark?, Yakmala! | 1 Comment

Yakmala: Fateful Findings

Posted on November 4, 2016 by Justin

Neil Breen looks like if jaded scientists decided to turn the phrase “fuck it” into a human being. A man with the charisma and appearance of a damp pile of peach-colored towels, Breen has become a reliable presence in outsider … Continue reading →

Posted in Projected Pixels and Emulsion, Yakmala! | Tagged Bare Ass Auteurs, Fateful Findings, Neil Breen, WTF?, Yakmala! | 1 Comment

Yakmala: Pink Force Commando

Posted on October 7, 2016 by Justin

Holy shit, did you know dreams are real? Not like, “Hey, I had this dream, and it happened,” and you’re all, “Please don’t tell me another one about you eating nachos with Margot Robbie.” No, I mean somehow, in China, … Continue reading →

Posted in Projected Pixels and Emulsion, Yakmala! | Tagged diamond theft, Dynamite Susie, Jackal, Pink Force Commando, Rebel Angel, robot gun hand, The Heartbroken Man, Yakmala! | 3 Comments

Yakmala: The Vampire Raiders

Posted on September 16, 2016 by Justin

Vampires are a lot like the ketchup of genre fiction: people think you can add them to anything and you have a brand new taste sensation. Occasionally, though, you get something so insane the script had to have been scraped … Continue reading →

Posted in Puffery, Yakmala! | Tagged godfrey ho, The Vampire Raiders, Vampire Raiders Ninja Queen, vampires vs. ninjas, Yakmala! | 4 Comments

Yakmala: Swimfan

Posted on August 26, 2016 by Justin

Back in my office working days, my old boss was perusing the newspaper, hunting for a movie he’d like to see. He asked his wife if she was interested in seeing “the fish movie.” After about thirty minutes, an enigma … Continue reading →

Posted in Projected Pixels and Emulsion, Yakmala! | Tagged Erika Christensen, Fatal Attraction, Jesse Bradford, Not Julia Stiles, Pool death, Shiri Appleby, Swimfan, Yakmala! | 2 Comments

Yakmala: Fantastic Four

Posted on August 5, 2016 by Justin

Time for some real talk: nobody likes dark superhero movies. Oh sure, there’s a subculture out there who longs to pile into a theater and be told how terrible it is to have phenomenal powers, and to be so hot … Continue reading →

Posted in Projected Pixels and Emulsion, Yakmala! | Tagged Depressing, Fantastic Four, Jamie Bell, Kate Mara, Michael B. Jordan, Miles Teller, Puppy Funeral, Yakmala! | 6 Comments

Tag Archives: Yakmala!

A Bad Movie Roundup

Yakmala: Jaws: The Revenge

Yakmala: Fateful Findings

Yakmala: Pink Force Commando

Yakmala: The Vampire Raiders

Yakmala: Swimfan

Yakmala: Fantastic Four

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