Category Archives: Yakmala!
Yakmala: The Vampire Raiders
Vampires are a lot like the ketchup of genre fiction: people think you can add them to anything and you have a brand new taste sensation. Occasionally, though, you get something so insane the script had to have been scraped … Continue reading
Yakmala: Swimfan
Back in my office working days, my old boss was perusing the newspaper, hunting for a movie he’d like to see. He asked his wife if she was interested in seeing “the fish movie.” After about thirty minutes, an enigma … Continue reading
Yakmala: Fantastic Four
Time for some real talk: nobody likes dark superhero movies. Oh sure, there’s a subculture out there who longs to pile into a theater and be told how terrible it is to have phenomenal powers, and to be so hot … Continue reading
Yakmala: Mother, May I Sleep With Danger?
No one movie exemplifies the Lifetime brand in the popular imagination more than the 1996 thriller/melodrama/Tori Spelling vehicle Mother, May I Sleep With Danger? But like any great story, the facts have gotten muddled along the way. The most important … Continue reading
Yakmala: Vampire Dentist
As with any movie, there’s always a debate over precisely how bad a bad movie is. Was it truly garbage, or was it merely terrible? A far more fascinating question was raised in the wake of Vampire Dentist’s screening. Was … Continue reading
Yakmala: Ninja III: The Domination
I know what you’re thinking. “Oh no, I haven’t seen Ninja 1 and 2! I’ll be totally lost!” You would be, if the filmmakers had invested in prosaic qualities like continuity, story, or sanity. Ninja III: The Domination is the … Continue reading
Yakmala: Superman IV: The Quest for Peace
How bad does a movie have to be before a guaranteed cash cow is put out to pasture? How many clueless executives does it take the strangle the promise out of a character? How painfully stupid does the writing have … Continue reading
