Tread Perilously — Doctor Who: The Doctor, The Widow and the Wardrobe

Tread Perilously becomes “Tread Merrily” for another Doctor Who Christmas special! This year: “The Doctor, The Widow and The Wardrobe.”

Several years after helping the Doctor out of a jam, Madge (Claire Skinner) receives word that she and her children must evacuate London. She also learns that her husband, a WWII bomber pilot, died while trying to fly across the English Channel. Despondent, she hides the truth from her children in the hopes of having a happy Christmas. Then the Doctor appears to add whimsy and delight to their holiday plans. But when one of his whimsical gifts leads young Cyril (Maurice Cole) to a planet filled with Androzani Trees, Madge has mere minutes to save him, her daughter Lily (Holly Earl) and the Doctor from a flash-harvest.

Justin and Erik discover a fairly delightful Christmas special despite Erik’s tendency to fall asleep during it. Erik describes “Christmas Blows” movies and the notion of “brothership.” Justin calls out the improbability of Sinbad’s survival in Jingle All the Way. The whimsy The Doctor employs puts both on edge. Justin remembers that James McAvoy emerged from Narnia itself. The discussion leads, inevitably, to Phantasm and Erik and Justin’s hate for Tom Bombadil. Also, because of the presence of a lighthouse, Justin makes several references to Bioshock.

Click here or subscribe to Tread Perilously on iTunes.

Posted in Transmissions, Tread Perilously | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Tread Perilously — The X-Files: Millennium

Tread Perilously closes out its controversial finales month with the unexpected back-door finale of Millennium on The X-Files.

When the corpses of recently deceased FBI agents turn up missing, Skinner assigns Mulder and Scully to the case as it may have something to do with the Millennium Group. Mulder immediately consults with Frank Black (Lance Henriksen). He waves the agents off, but offers them subtle clues. The path soon leads them to an honest-to-goodness Necromancer (Holmes Osborne) who is aiding a splinter of the Millennium Group with their plan to become the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse. When Mulder finds his way to the Necromancer’s compound, he encounters zombies. Will Scully catch up with him before they break the First Seal?

Justin and Erik attempt to determine which Horseman Frank Black would become. Justin praises the work of Osborne. Erik derails the discussion with a reference to Phantasm and explains the key to a good Adrian Pasdar impression. The pair introduce Tread Perilously’s official medical expert, Dr. Gupta. Justin admits his newfound reluctance to like any celebrity. Erik rages against a lame “Scully’s dead” fake-out while Justin gets mad about The X-Files zombie rules. Erik also suggests it would be silly to replace Mulder and Scully during the tail end of the series.

Click here or subscribe to Tread Perilously on iTunes.

Posted in Puffery, Transmissions, Tread Perilously | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Tread Perilously — 7th Heaven: Thanksgiving

Tread Perilously takes a break from series finales to celebrate Thanksgiving with another turkey thanks to 7th Heaven.

In “Thanksgiving,” Annie Camden looks forward to having all of her kids under one roof for the first time in two years. Unfortunately, Matt and Sarah have to work on Thanksgiving and therefore come to town a week early, upsetting Annie. Mary and Carlos decide to fly to Puerto Rico to visit his folks, upsetting Annie. Ruthie plans to take up Mary’s offer to go with them, upsetting Annie. Simon announces that he also has to work, upsetting Annie. Martin and Mack plan a camping trip, upsetting Annie. But at least the twins will be there, right? Oh. No. They were planning to go to Lucy’s, who’s planning a Thanksgiving dinner all her own.

You can see how this might all be a little upsetting.

Justin wishes Eli Roth had directed the episode. Erik devises a new game called “Secret Drifter.” Justin determines the episode writer must have had a “Bitches Be Crazy” banner over her desk. He also finally separates star Catherine Hicks from Lethal Weapon‘s Mary Ellen Trainor. Sort of. Erik points out the extreme rarity of acorns in Southern California. Justin tries to guess Simon’s secret. Both Justin and Erik try to devise a cat’s thanksgiving and Mary is once again the engine of destruction. Also, Erik presents Justin with an impossible question.

Click here or subscribe to Tread Perilously on iTunes.

Posted in Puffery, Transmissions, Yakmala! | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Tread Perilously — Seinfeld: The Finale

Tread Perilously’s tour of controversial finales continues with Seinfeld‘s final episode, “The Finale.”

When Jerry and George get a call from NBC about their long-shelved “Jerry” pilot, their dreams come true. The network wants to put the show on the air and gives Jerry and George prominent positions as writer-producers. To celebrate, they also offer Jerry the use of the private NBC plane. Jerry and his pals decide to fly to Paris, but they’re waylaid in a small Massachusetts town with a good Samaritan statute. Soon, they find themselves on trial for failing to help a carjack victim (played by the late John Pinette) and all of the people they’ve wronged come out of the woodwork to testify against them.

Erik and Justin get immediately derailed by discussion of NBC executive offices, Manimal and cocaine. Erik compares Kramer to a Hanna-Barbera cartoon character and introduces another Jacob’s Ladder scenario regarding the NBC plane. Justin calls out the Seinfeld writers for the poor quality of their fat jokes. Both decide special guest Philip Baker Hall is the funniest performer in the entire episode. Erik points out the preponderance of Twin Peaks actors throughout the episode. He also admits he found the Soup Nazi unfunny.

Click here or subscribe to Tread Perilously on iTunes.

Posted in Transmissions, Tread Perilously | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Tread Perilously — The Sopranos: Made in America

Continuing a month of controversial finales, Tread Perilously heads for New Jersey to witness The Sopranos‘ final episode, “Made in America.”

Tony’s war with a rival family takes him to the mattresses. Meanwhile, AJ has a crisis of faith about anything and everything. Oil dependency comes up prominently. Meanwhile, Meadow prepares for her wedding while her future in-laws inspect the china at the Soprano’s home. Back on the battlefront, Tony connives a way to end the war and secure the future. Promises are made, a few people die and AJ’s car explodes. Oh, and Tony dies in the end.

Erik and Justin attempt to properly identify Tony’s accent. They also praise the work of actor Frank Vincent. Justin creates the notion of “Sulu’s Gun.” Erik attempts to do two stereotypical Italian American accents at the same time. It goes about as well as you’d expect. Justin takes AJ to task. At. Length. Erik reveals a fondness for Donna Pescow, but explains why he’s never seen Saturday Night Fever. The Infinity Stones derail the conversation, but Erik’s quest to become the Mexican Charlie Day continues as he presents his “Jacob’s Ladder” style explanation of The Sopranos ending. Was Tony always dead?

Click here or subscribe to Tread Perilously on iTunes.

Posted in Transmissions, Tread Perilously | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Tread Perilously — How I Met Your Mother: Last Forever Parts 1 & 2

Tread Perilously begins a month of controversial finales with the two-part ending of How I Met Your Mother.

On the night of Robin and Barney’s wedding, sad sack Ted Mosby leaves early to catch a train back to New York. But while waiting on the platform, he encounters the bass player of the wedding band. This is how he met the titular mother. Decades later, he tells his children about how much he loved Robin and why their mother is a post-script in his life. Y’know, despite spending a good fifteen years with the woman.

Justin invokes the right of kanly as it still has its admirers in the Empire. Erik goes into diabetic shock from amount of saccharine used in the finale of the long-running sitcom and begins his quest to become the Mexican Charlie Day. He’s also convinced Robin is really Maria Hill, agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. Justin imagines the private screening room of noted feminist Joss Whedon and inadvertently reveals Tread Perilously’s enemies list; which includes Outback Steakhouse, Milo Ventimiglia and Tyne Daly. He also assumes one cannot drunkenly find themselves involved in human trafficking. Erik praises the acting ability of Cobie Smulders, but nevertheless obeys the forms of kanly and plots his own revenge against Justin. Spoiler alert: it involves 7th Heaven.

Click here or subscribe to Tread Perilously on iTunes.

Posted in Transmissions, Tread Perilously | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Tread Perilously — Supernatural: All Dogs Go To Heaven

Tread Perilously’s TV Horror month concludes with a visit from Sam and Dean Winchester for the Supernatural episode known as “All Dogs Go to Heaven.”

Crowley sends Sam and Dean to Buffalo in order to investigate a rash of deadly maulings. Crowley suspects it might be an Alpha werewolf, which he needs for his plans. After meeting a man seemingly involved in the earlier attacks, the Winchesters realize the perpetrator is the family dog. They soon uncover a pack of Skinwalkers plotting some sort of slow-motion invasion. Can Sam and Dean convince the family dog to let his family live?

Erik declares “All Dogs Go to Heaven” to be the worst episode of Supernatural. Jared Leto intrudes on the proceedings. Justin explains the mistakes made in Supernatural‘s sixth season; from bad pacing to flat jokes. Erik identifies one of the guest actors as “Canadian Lois Lane” only to discover that she’s related to Margot Kidder. Justin notices that Sam standing in a park at night is more terrifying than the monster of the week. Both applaud the episode for making the right choice in the end, but Sam’s soullessness leaves Erik remembering other times Dean ended up in Hell.

Click here or subscribe to Tread Perilously on iTunes.

Posted in Transmissions, Tread Perilously | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment