Tread Perilously: Special Review Unit — We Dream of Machine Elves

Tread Perilously once again opens the case files of the Special Review Unit for a recent episode of Law & Order: SVU called “We Dream of Machine Elves.”

When a tourist wakes up in Central Park wearing only a sheet and screaming about the “Machine Elves,” Manhattan SVU detectives focus their investigation on a radical New York therapist who encourages the heavy use of drugs like DMT and re-experiencing trauma. He also happens to be a former professor of Detective Amanda Rollins. Will their past allow her the chance to learn the truth about his unusual methods? Or will Rollins once again fall for an older man of seeming authority?

Captain Charlie Wright returns to remind Justin that he’s met Detective Rollins. She also decries the episode’s lack of momentum. Justin finds the cast changes surprising while Erik marvels at a decade of Meloni-less SVU. Carisi gets dubbed “good hair guy.” ADA Barba continues to be missed. Charlie offers a number of great New York safety tips. Erik tries to understand vaping. Both he and Justin get lost remembering Season 2 of The Wire. Officer Katriona Tamin gets her first performance review and Tread Perilously chooses its favorite brands of oat milk.

Click here or subscribe to Tread Perilously on iTunes.

Posted in Transmissions, Tread Perilously | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Tread Perilously — Baywatch: Silent Night, Baywatch Night

Tread Merrily concludes with a return trip to Baywatch for the two-part Christmas episode, “Silent Night, Baywatch Night.”

When Matt expresses his disdain for Christmas, a number of little people camp out by his tower. He comes to believe they are Santa’s elves. Meanwhile, Mitch wants to celebrate a very special Christmas with his new girlfriend Tracy, who also happens to be his employee. CJ’s beauty seemingly causes a priest to reconsider his devotion to the Lord. Hobie meets another street urchin with a compulsion for grifting. Will they die when a goon lures them out to the pier?

Sarah Madden returns for a slice of holiday cheer. She also learns about Man Power Pills and John Allen Nelson. Justin finds himself missing the acting talents of Billy Warlock. The group begins to identify Friends characters as their Odyssey counterparts. Sarah points out Christmas week weather in Los Angeles rarely allows for bikinis. David Charvet gets turned into an elusive hitman and Showtime is unveiled as the home of the nostalgic wank. Well, at least in the 1990s. Professional film and television goon Rhino Michaels gets dubbed “Slow Renegade.” David Hasselhoff becomes the fourth Doctor What and Justin completely fails to make a joke land.

Click here or subscribe to Tread Perilously on iTunes.

Posted in Transmissions, Tread Perilously | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Tread Perilously — Smallville: Lexmas

Tread Merrily continues with the team’s first foray to Smallville. Luckily, they arrived just in time for an episode called “Lexmas.”

When Lex Luthor’s attempts to get dirt on Jonathan Kent’s senatorial campaign, he ends up getting shot in the back. He awakens seven years later to discover he is married to Lana Lang and had a child with her with another on the way. As it turns out, he learns his ideal life will occur if he drops out of the senate race against Jonathan. But is all just in his head? Meanwhile, Clark and Chloe face a phony Santa who might just be the real deal.

Justin tries to figure out why the episode isn’t called “It’s a Wonderful Lex” while Erik doubts TV at the turn of the century could really support Smallville. The pair debate Tom Welling’s “fuck you” money and his current build — even if they get details of “Crisis” wrong. Erik gets lost in the eyes of John Schneider. The explosive chemistry between Lex and Clark gets examined, as does the magnetism of actor Michael Rosenbaum. Things get surprisingly political. Erik stumbles onto a Smallville story he’d like to write and Justin calls out The Karate Kid for presenting Ali as a prize.

And, yes, they talk about Allison Mack.

Click here or subscribe to Tread Perilously on iTunes.

Posted in Transmissions, Tread Perilously | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Tread Perilously — Doctor Who: The Next Doctor

Tread Perilously begins its annual Tread Merrily month with the 2008 Doctor Who Christmas special, “The Next Doctor.”

When the Doctor arrives in 1851 London, he immediately hears his name being called from afar. But when arrives at the scene of distress, he finds another man calling himself “The Doctor.” Is he the Time Lord’s next regeneration or is the truth more complicated? But those questions will have to wait as the Doctors find the tell-tale signs of the Cybermen. Will it lead them to the mysterious Miss Hartigan and her alliance with the cybernetic invaders?

Erik and Justin discuss the problem with the phrase “what I have done is good.” Erik recounts his dinner with actor Bill Duke. Justin returns to the horrifying concept of the Child Compressor. He also claims Erik’s heart has grown three sizes, but his views on Tony Stark may leave some doubt. The pair debate the talents of actor David Morrissey and Victorian London is discovered to be a city of corridors. Erik tries to recall the one time he saw snow. Bane makes a special appearance to decry Batman’s failure to rebuild the Gotham City tram system. Erik explains his problem with the modern Cybermen and both discuss their hopes for the real next Doctor.

Click here or subscribe to Tread Perilously on iTunes.

Posted in Transmissions, Tread Perilously | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Tread Perilously — 7th Heaven: Gratitude

Tread Perilously’s “Too Many Kids!” month concludes with the traditional Thanksgiving slice of 7th Heaven.

Despite Annie Camden getting her family Thanksgiving a week earlier, she’s decided to rush home from visiting her stepmother to experience a third Thanksgiving for the year. Unfortunately, Reverend Camden seems to be getting sick. Meanwhile back in Glen Oak, a pregnant Lucy tries to prepare the meal, but ends up in the hospital. Matt, still in medical college, second guesses her OB/GYN. Simon gets ready to tell the fam he knocked up a woman and Ruthie regrets her decision to spend Thanksgiving with Mary in Puerto Rico.

Yvette Nicole Brown becomes the episode MVP. Justin gets a quick recap of the previous Thanksgiving episode which precedes “Gratitude.” He also refuses to believe Catherine Hicks plays Annie Camden. His hatred of the Camden twins also continues unabated. Paul Rudd’s history of failed sitcoms comes into play. Justin drops the Byzantine Empire under the bus. Claudette from The Room gets examined as the film’s most developed character. Erik calls Simon’s haircut “The Nero” and promises never to ask Tyler Hoechlin about his time on 7th Heaven. T-Bone gets teased once again. The pair determine Lucy is a “Karen” and they try to figure out why Matt makes eyes at random women.

Click here or subscribe to Tread Perilously on iTunes.

Posted in Transmissions, Tread Perilously | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Tread Perilously — The Partridge Family: Did You Hear The One About Danny Partridge?

Tread Perilously’s “Too Many Kids!” month makes its way to The Partridge Family with the episode called “Did You Hear the One About Danny Partridge?”

After Danny gets his leg caught in a mic cable during a performance, he flees the stage in embarrassment. But when Reuben Kincaid convinces him the audience believed it was part of the act, Danny decides to learn some classic comedy routines. It fails to go over during rehearsals, but the ever hopeful Partridge wants to find a tight five minutes of A-material before the family leaves for an engagement in Hawaii. Will a battle-hardened talent agent set him straight?

Erik admits to feeling a kinship with Bea Arthur. He also threatens Justin with another screening of The Star Wars Holiday Special. Justin tries to discern the premise of The Partridge Family from this unfortunate episode. H.P. Lovecraft gets involved somehow. The Partridge title sequence gets appraised and the pair pronounce judgement on Reuben Kincaid. The president makes a rare appearance. Erik proclaims Danny Bonaduce the Corey Feldman of the 1970s, which leads to a closer examination of the former’s history as a public figure. Don Drysdale reappears as a cement salesman. The nature of comedy itself gets examined and Erik refuses to believe the rich use young people’s plasma to remain healthy.

Click here or subscribe to Tread Perilously on iTunes.

Posted in Transmissions, Tread Perilously | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Tread Perilously — Eight Is Enough: Never Try Eating Nectarines Since Juice May Dispense

Tread Perilously’s “Too Many Kids!” month continues with the pilot episode of Eight is Enough — also known as “Never Try Eating Nectarines Since Juice May Dispense.”

Tom Bradford is an editor at a Sacramento, California newspaper. He is also the father of eight children. Oldest son David (Mark Hamill!) wants to move out of the house while youngest daughter Elizabeth gets busted for possession and obstruction. Youngest son Nicholas is getting ready for a tonsillectomy while Tom tries to figure out how he’s going to pay for all his unexpected expenses. It’s the sort of thing that happens when you have too many kids.

Justin hates the fact he now knows about the mneomic device Tom uses the remember his kids’ names. He also points out the tendency for “Too Many Kids!” shows to offer the oldest son a break-out role. It leads to a discussion of Family Ties and properly regulated businesses. Erik recalls entirely too much of Eight is Enough and equates Aaron Sorkin to Christopher Marlowe. The presence of Mark Hamill proves to be a major distraction, especially as David Bradford and Luke Skywalker are experiencing the same emotional journey in 1977. Performances get rated, Willie Aames gets mentioned, and the pair pitch Jessica Chastain as the director of a Mara Jade trilogy.

Click here or subscribe to Tread Perilously on iTunes.

Posted in Transmissions, Tread Perilously | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment