Category Archives: Yakmala!

Yakmala: Swimfan

Back in my office working days, my old boss was perusing the newspaper, hunting for a movie he’d like to see. He asked his wife if she was interested in seeing “the fish movie.” After about thirty minutes, an enigma … Continue reading

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Yakmala: Fantastic Four

Time for some real talk: nobody likes dark superhero movies. Oh sure, there’s a subculture out there who longs to pile into a theater and be told how terrible it is to have phenomenal powers, and to be so hot … Continue reading

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Yakmala: Mother, May I Sleep With Danger?

No one movie exemplifies the Lifetime brand in the popular imagination more than the 1996 thriller/melodrama/Tori Spelling vehicle Mother, May I Sleep With Danger? But like any great story, the facts have gotten muddled along the way. The most important … Continue reading

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Yakmala: Vampire Dentist

As with any movie, there’s always a debate over precisely how bad a bad movie is. Was it truly garbage, or was it merely terrible? A far more fascinating question was raised in the wake of Vampire Dentist’s screening. Was … Continue reading

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Yakmala: Ninja III: The Domination

I know what you’re thinking. “Oh no, I haven’t seen Ninja 1 and 2! I’ll be totally lost!” You would be, if the filmmakers had invested in prosaic qualities like continuity, story, or sanity. Ninja III: The Domination is the … Continue reading

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Yakmala: Superman IV: The Quest for Peace

How bad does a movie have to be before a guaranteed cash cow is put out to pasture? How many clueless executives does it take the strangle the promise out of a character? How painfully stupid does the writing have … Continue reading

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Yakmala: Superman III

Making a good Superman movie is apparently only slightly easier than convincing a clown to sterilize his chainsaw before he gives you a makeshift vasectomy. There have been six live action attempts, and by my count, we have a grand … Continue reading

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