Author Archives: Justin

About Justin

Author, mammal. www.captainsupermarket.com

Lifetime Theater: Honeymoon From Hell

The point I keep returning to in this series is that the Lifetime network produces horror movies. While some of this is that those are the ones that sound most interesting to me, and are thus the ones I watch … Continue reading

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Now Fear This: Dawn of the Dead

The internet as a whole has not been kind to Zack Snyder. Small wonder, when the man’s job appears to be nothing more than screwing up beloved comic book characters and misunderstanding feminism so hard he accidentally created a singularity … Continue reading

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Yakmala: Fateful Findings

Neil Breen looks like if jaded scientists decided to turn the phrase “fuck it” into a human being. A man with the charisma and appearance of a damp pile of peach-colored towels, Breen has become a reliable presence in outsider … Continue reading

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Lifetime Theater: Kept Woman

Weird stuff enters the zeitgeist. The way a single year might feature two killer asteroid movies, or everyone becomes obsessed with furry owl poop that talks. You can’t predict it. Not too long ago, I got around to seeing Room, … Continue reading

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Now Fear This: The Witch

One generation’s bogeyman is the next generation’s punchline. What we find frightening in movies, books, and stories has to do with the concerns of the day. This is why periods of anti-communist hysteria produced films about sinister aliens replacing normal … Continue reading

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Liner Notes

Did you know I’m an author? Seriously. I have eleven books you can go out right now and buy, and the next one is due on Halloween. Crazy, right? Whenever a new one comes out, I like to share the … Continue reading

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Yakmala: Pink Force Commando

Holy shit, did you know dreams are real? Not like, “Hey, I had this dream, and it happened,” and you’re all, “Please don’t tell me another one about you eating nachos with Margot Robbie.” No, I mean somehow, in China, … Continue reading

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