What Are We to Do With This Shia LeBeouf?

This is what 3 Michael Bay movies do to the soul.

The above picture is from a Daily Beast article about Shia LeBeouf’s new “art” “exhibit” entitled “#IAMSORRY.” Normally, The Beef is wearing the pictured bag on his head (“the full Unknown Comic”), but writer Andrew Romano got the picture after Shia himself removed the bag.

I’ve read a couple of reviews of this thing, and I’ve learned:

  • You can walk into the exhibit with one of a number of items like a whip, and Optimus Prime figure, or a bowl full of fortune-cookie like printed tweets about himself.
  • You can speak to him. He’s probably not gonna answer.
  • He’s actually crying under that bag. A lot. Whether it’s honest sorrow, or just good acting, is unclear.
  • You’re not supposed to take pictures. Romano managed to do so because Shia didn’t stop him.
  • Still no one knows what the fuck this is all for. Dumb Starbucks isn’t an option anymore.

I’ll keep this short. I don’t know what to do with this. I feel like I shouldn’t jump on the “watch a mentally unstable man self-immolate” train because I’m not even sure he’s actually gone crackers. It’s probably some long-tail project that, when it ends, will totally underwhelm. (See also: horse_ebooks and Pronunciation Book turning into… some bullshit interactive game, I guess?) But I also have no interest in whatever the hell this project ends up being.

But then there’s also the idea that there is no longer-term project; that this is it. The Clowes movie, the Twitter meltdown, the paper bag, the seagulls: it could just end here, with a former Disney star sitting at a table in an art gallery in Los Angeles wearing a grocery bag, silently crying to anyone who decides to walk in. And that, after Saturday, he just goes back to Twitter, and says, “Welp, I made my point.” And I don’t know what that point is.

Is it a critique of celebrity culture? Is it a comment on the impossibility of true originality in a postmodern world? Is it him offering himself as penance for his crimes? Is he just ripping off Joaquin Phoenix, and there’s a movie coming next year called “#IAMNOTSORRY?” Or has he gone off the reservation, and here’s how that looks? None of these sound palatable.

Despite all this, I wanna go there and ask him if working on “Even Stevens” was an enjoyable experience. Was Christy Carlson Romano a bitch? Did he ever hang out with Hilary Duff? I won’t get an answer. He’ll just cry more.

For more on what drove Shia to madness, please read this Yakmala Klassic Review of Transformers the Second.

About Louis

This entry was posted in Newsmash, Projected Pixels and Emulsion and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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