A Now Fear This Roundup

I’m planning to spend most of this week digesting, and frankly, that gets in the way of long, rambling, and expletive-filled reviews. Fortunately, in the two years Now Fear This has been alive and well, I’ve written thirty-two long, rambling, and expletive-filled reviews. So this Thanksgiving weekend, if you’re looking for something terrifying to watch that maybe you haven’t heard of, browse through this list of (mostly) horror gems.

Attack the Block: Aliens attack a London slum, and it’s up to an embryonic street gang to save the day.

Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon: A mockumentary on the making of a supernatural serial killer in the tradition of Jason, Freddy, and Michael.

Breakdown: Kurt Russell misplaces his wife in the middle of the desert, and it’s up to him to take her back from a group of late ‘90s character actors.

The Brood: Having kids never seemed so fun and easy in this Cronenberg classic!

Brotherhood of the Wolf: Possibly the finest horror romance period piece kung fu action flick ever made.

Bubba Ho-Tep: Elvis and JFK fight a mummy in a Texas rest home.

Centurion: Extremely sexy people battle it out in Iron Age Scotland.

Chillerama: Highly offensive and extremely funny horror comedy anthology.

The Company of Wolves: Neil Jordan’s fairy tale phantasmagoria that’s probably his way of dealing with sexual abuse.

The Descent: A modern classic of survival horror so scary it barely even needs its monsters.

Dog Soldiers: Werewolves hunt British soldiers through the Scottish highlands.

The Ghost and the Darkness: Building a bridge is tough when you’re dealing with two of the worst serial killers in history who also happen to be lions.

The Gift: A creepy Southern Gothic gem from the minds of Sam Raimi and Billy Bob Thornton.

Ginger Snaps: Lycanthrophy serves as a metaphor for puberty for a pair of gothy Irish twins.

Gremlins 2: The New Batch: The anarchic sequel/parody of the horror blockbuster.

The House of the Devil: An ‘80s homage so loving it’s a wonder I didn’t dream it.

Insidious: An eerie gore-free ghost story from the guys behind Saw.

Joe Versus the Volcano: A sweet romantic fantasy about the importance of dreaming big.

The Missing: An Apache sorcerer kidnaps a girl to sell her into slavery, Cate Blanchett and Tommy Lee Jones to the rescue.

The Mist: Though adapted from a Stephen King novella, this is one of the best Lovecraft movies ever made.

Mute Witness: Hitchcockian yarn about a mute woman targeted for death by Russian snuff film makers.

My Boyfriend’s Back: It’s a one joke picture, but you gotta admit the joke is pretty funny.

Outlander: Alien Jesus + Vikings vs. Dragon.

Predators: Basically an episode of Deadliest Warrior with fucking Predators.

Session 9: This whole goddamn movie is haunted.

Splice: Why you should never use metaphor with your mutant.

The Strangers: Lock the doors, bar the windows. Doesn’t matter. They’re already in the house.

Teeth: A young woman makes friends with her mutation. Say cheese!

Them!: ‘50s atomic horror classic about giant ants.

Trollhunter: The best found footage movie ever made.

Tucker & Dale vs. Evil: Ingenious hicksploitation parody that gives us The Texas Chain Saw Massacre from Leatherface’s point of view.

28 Weeks Later: A lesser film than its predecessor, though it still has plenty to recommend it.

Enjoy your terror!