THS Awareness 2011

Due to my surprise trip to New York for NYCC and the attendant work for CBR, my planned review of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban has shifted in the schedule. In its place, we present this message from the THS Awareness Project:

As we get closer and closer to Halloween, I see more and more lawns presenting with symptoms of THS.

Have you not heard of THS? Let me pose these questions to you (or someone you love):

Do you set up a Halloween display in your front lawn on the 1st of October?

Do these decorations remain up until the 4th of Novemeber?

Do you replace them with an inflatable, light-up Turkey?

When you take the turkey down the after Thanksgiving do you replace it with Xmas decorations?

How many?

Possibly an inflatable, light up Nativity scene?

Do those decorations remain lit well into March?

June perhaps?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, you, or someone you love, may have That House Syndrome (THS) or Severe Decoration Disorder. THS afflicts millions of Americans each autumn and lasting well into the following year. At a cost of untold dollars in watthours, THS is an energy-consuming disease, especially in this economy, we can ill afford to ignore.

THS differs from normal celebratory lights and decorations in during the holiday season in the following ways: severity and duration. Type I THS is the more common severe decoration complex:

This home is a classic example of Type I THS. A Type I sufferer may not present symptoms until the second week of December, but symptoms will be sharp and sudden. Often including an excess of lights, multiple inflatable, light-up decorations and snowglobes, or musical accompaniment.

Type II is also known as “prolonged decoration complex.” A Type II sufferer will present symptoms as early as the first of October and continue to present as late as June. The inflatable, light-up turkey is one of the more telling symptoms of Type II THS.

There are also rare cases of prolonged severe decoration complex, usually involving elaborate Halloween displays. Symptoms of both types present in these cases, but is not an official category on its own. It is the least understood presentation of THS and scientist toil night and day to understand the root cause of this, and all cases of THS.

There is help! The THS Awareness Project, or TAP, is dedicated to assisting people coming to grips with That House Syndrome. This Holiday season, let some know they might be a sufferer, or add to the TAP photo archive. No THS sufferer should feel they are alone. They are not. For more information of THS or to become involved in the THS Awareness Project, do not hesitate to add a comment.

THE PRECEDING HAS BEEN A MESSAGE FROM THE THS AWARENESS PROJECT.

Next Week, Halloween concludes with one film that is positively … um … Trollish.

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About Erik

Erik Amaya is the host of Tread Perilously and the former Head Film/TV writer at Bleeding Cool. He has also contributed to sites like CBR, Comics Alliance and Fanbase Press. He is also the voice of Puppet Tommy on "The Room Responds."
This entry was posted in Home of the Bizarre Rant, I'm Just Sayin, Puffery and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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