Tila Tequila and the Limits of Schadenfreude

This past weekend was the Gathering of the Juggalos, the multi-day “underground music” festival spearheaded by Insane Clown Posse and named for their fans. Inexplicably, Tila Tequila, MySpace conqueror and professional bisexual, took the stage there. Apparently, she also sings. This was her immediately afterward:


What happened, according to Ms Tequila:

I went onstage and immediately, before I even got on stage, DUDES were throwing HUGE STONE ROCKS in my face, beer bottles that slit my eye open, almost burnt my hair on fire cuz they threw fire crackers on stage, and they even took the sh*t out of the port-0-potty and threw sh*t and piss at me when I was onstage.”

And that’s JUGGALO shit and piss, so I guess it’s worse?

Now, I’m conflicted. I have equally bad feelings about both sides of the aisle here. On one hand, I’m no fan of Ms Tequila. I don’t know what she even does for a living anymore, why she’s still around, and who her fans are. I don’t believe one person looked at her on that concert poster and said, “WHOO! TILA! I HAVE ALL YOUR ALBUM!”

On the other: Insane Clown Posse, and others of their ilk, defy explanation to me. Songs about corpse-rape and other tasteless subjects aren’t bumpin’ on my Droid. (Yes, I have a Droid, not an iPhone. REBEL!) And I’m always amazed they have the audience to support a three-day festival every year for eleven years.

I will repeat: ELEVEN YEARS.

So, this incident is basically the story of Syphilis beating up Herpes. Even if Herpes is the wronged party, it’s still an STD. (I don’t know which is which in this example, nor do I care.)

But, as much as it may please me to see tragedy befall Ms Tequila (I am, at heart, a man with base emotions), this is too far. No one, despite his/her status as a famewhoring pseudo-celebrity, deserves to have bricks and human excrement thrown at them. I amend that: if you killed a bunch of kids, let the poop fly. Otherwise, no. And the comments on TMZ don’t seem to share my sense of empathy:

when is Tina going to get it. NOBODY likes her. she is just a little chink thinking she is a STAR!!! NOT!! – carole

Awesome. Someone had to make her shut her mouth. Maybe she will go get laid somewhere else. Can’t stand that attention seeking whore. – yournamehere

OHH, the poor SKANK….She got some boo-boo’s…POOR skanky ass loser…maybe SHE GOT WHAT SHE DESERVED media whore…And just WHAT is her claim to FAME??? ONLY heard of her because Harvey and his high school drop outs made a media star..TMZ tends to take the TALENTLESS and make them SOMETHING THEY AIN’T….What does she DO to get this attention? REALLY? I gotta know. – Jason

Jason’s got a point: why should the Juggalo crowd tolerate people who are famous for dubious reasons? I mean, they like ICP, and everyone respects ICP’s music and message, right?

It's basic science!


Again, there’s only so far I can go on the Schadenfreude meter regarding Ms Tequila on this one. I can’t stand the woman, but getting rocks and shit thrown at your head is nothing anyone signs up for, no matter how much Satan was involved with your success. And this doesn’t bode well for the Juggalos’ PR, since now they’re known as a bunch of shit-tossing yahoos. You might even argue that the Juggalos simply didn’t want her crap music there, but…

They threw a beer can at Method Man. METHOD MAN. So, no, taste is not a factor. Need more proof? Check out the rest of the lineup:

Kottonmouth Kings? Vanilla Ice? Tom Green? Gallagher? FUCKING GALLAGHER?

Just bring it down a little harder...

This was a difficult story to react to. Riddle of the Sphinx difficult:

What goes on four legs in the morning, on two legs at noon, and on three legs in the evening?

Sadly, I think the answer is also Tila Tequila. But, I’m digressing. We have an unspoken (or spoken, depending on how much of an ass you are, and I’m not eliminating myself when I say that) compulsion to wish the worst on people we don’t like. However, Tila’s treatment at the Gathering was the stress test of that compulsion: who can really point and laugh when something that horrible and unwarranted happens, even when it happens to an awful person? I detest Glenn Beck with every fiber of my being, but if some protester slammed a rock into his skull, I would hope Glenn came out OK; mostly so I could continue detesting him.

Let these “media figures” make themselves look bad; the minute you throw bricks at them, then you’re automatically worse. ERACISM, or something.

About Louis

This entry was posted in Mark Carpenter School of Music, Newsmash. Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Tila Tequila and the Limits of Schadenfreude

  1. Dante says:

    But in all fairness, it is Tila Tequila. I can understand the urge to throw rocks and cans at her! Not saying one should do so, I”m just sayin!

  2. David D. says:

    Good post sir. Although I don’t know if I share your Glenn Beck sentiments. Tila Tequila is a fairly innocuous symptom of the overall decline of our collective culture. Glenn Beck is a cause.

    Can’t wait for the SVU that takes on this story. Maybe combining it with the story of 80 year-old mummified babies in the MacArthur Park basement.

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