UFC 114 Preview

Coming off my worst round of predictions, I’m bringing my A game. Of course, that implies that I haven’t been bringing my A game previously, which just makes me sound like an asshole. In my defense, I am an asshole. Okay, now for the card.

The Main Event: Light Heavyweight Bout
Quinton “Rampage” Jackson (30-7) vs. “Sugar” Rashad Evans (14-1-1)
The Breakdown: As coaches on season ten of The Ultimate Fighter, Jackson and Evans got to know each other. There’s an old saying: “Familiarity breeds contempt.” Well, in this case, familiarity bred an all-consuming psychotic hatred that demands a blood sacrifice. Considering the fact that these guys hate each other the way Rand Paul hates sanity and neither one is known for coming up with a game plan (let alone sticking to it), these two are likely to go berserk as soon as the cage shuts. Stylistically, they’re almost mirrors, with Rashad holding the edge in speed and Rampage in strength. They’re equally comfortable on the feet as they are on the ground. If Rampage shows up in shape and focused, his counter-punching will be the deciding factor.
My Pick: The fight was originally canceled because Rampage wanted to shoot The A-Team (The movie — he wasn’t trying to murder a wrongly-convicted group of soldiers). This is not a sign of a man with his head in the game. Add to that his Pride Fighting age, and he’s probably past his prime and out of shape. I’m calling a round 3 TKO for Evans by doctor stoppage. That’s right. Fucking doctor stoppage.
Gore Factor: High. Whenever two wrestlers go at it, something’s getting cut. Add in the grudge, and this fight could end up looking like an Aztec Thanksgiving.
Profiling: When Rampage went on his literal rampage, how long did it take the cops to knock on his door? It’s sort of like if there’s an axe murder, you go talk to Wanderlei Silva first.

Or the Tin Man. Either way.

Middleweight Bout
Michael “The Count” Bisping (19-3) vs. Dan Miller (11-3, 1 NC)
The Breakdown: Bisping, the winner of TUF 3, has lost two of his last three. I can’t help but look at this as something of a tune-up fight for him. Miller is not the most well-rounded of fighters, and will want to take the fight to the ground as soon as possible, if not sooner. Bisping can be taken down fairly easily, but he has an active guard and can generally get up when he likes. He far outclasses Miller on the feet and will look to land strikes early and often.
My Pick: Bisping’s all around attack will carry the day. Miller will score from takedowns and submission attempts, but Bisping is going to land as many punches as he likes to take the decision.
Gore Factor: Medium to high.
Nickname: Michael Bisping has one of the coolest nicknames in the sport (although it would be cooler if the UFC actually used a count). Dan Miller’s name is so forgettable I’ve already forgotten it. He needs a truly insane nickname to get some recognition, like Chainsaw Enema or Mr. Potato Head or something.

Heavyweight Bout
Todd Duffee (6-0) vs. Mike Russow (12-1, 1 NC)
The Breakdown: I was lukewarm on this fight until I had a look at Todd Duffee. He is a heavyweight who has knocked all of his six opponents into a different plane of consciousness. That’s the true joy of the heavyweight division: guys throwing around wrist-anvils knowing that if a single one connects, the fight is over in an instant. This is bad news for a grappler like Russow who will have to expose his chin to get a takedown.
My Pick: Duffee by KO in round one. He’ll get the one hit he needs to finish Russow off.
Gore Factor: Low. Maybe a bloody nose.

Light Heavyweight Bout
Antonio Rogerio Nogueira (18-3) vs. Jason “Hitman” Brilz (18-2-1)
The Breakdown: Brilz is a last minute replacement for the injured Forrest Griffin. A one-dimensional wrestler, Brilz is going to do everything he can to take the fight to the mat. Unfortunately for him, that’s exactly where Little Nog wants him.
My Pick: Nogueira by submission in round 2, probably by locking up an arm that was carelessly left unattended during some ground and pound.
Gore Factor: Low. Little Nog might get cut, but nothing too bad.
Little Nog? In a twist worthy of bad writing, Little Nog has a twin brother who fights in the heavyweight division.

They're also Ferengi.

Welterweight Bout
Diego “Nightmare” Sanchez (23-3) vs. John “The Hitman” Hathaway (13-0)
The Breakdown: In December, BJ Penn performed the most complete destruction of another man the sport has ever seen. The result? The victim, Diego Sanchez, fled the lightweight division for the greener pastures of welterweight, apparently forgetting that human wrecking balls like Jon Fitch, Josh Koscheck and Georges St-Pierre were waiting for him. Anyway, this is the fight where we see if Sanchez has recovered from the ruthless beating Penn gave him.
My Pick: Sanchez is a hundred times the fighter that Hathaway is. The Nightmare’s biggest enemy is himself, which is appropriate for a Tony Robbins disciple and the inventor of the Yes Cartwheel. Call it a round 2 TKO.
Gore Factor: High. Sanchez loves to land elbows from the clinch. On a side note, I’m looking forward to seeing how Sanchez’s face is recovering. How many scars did BJ give him?

I never get tired of this picture.

Hang on… Another guy named Hitman? No, this guy is The Hitman. The last guy was just Hitman. Try to keep up.

Undercard Highlight: Welterweight Bout
Amir Sadollah (4-1) vs. Dong Hyun “Stun Gun” Kim (12-0-1, 1 NC)
The Breakdown: Amir Sadollah is the ridiculously likeable winner of TUF 7, and permanent resident on every anti-terror watch list because of that name. Since he’s a TUF winner, the UFC has been feeding him a steady diet of has-beens, but that gravy train has just run dry. Kim will be Sadollah’s first big test. Because it’s between two kickboxers who practice the two most entertaining grappling arts (Sambo for Sadollah and Judo for Kim), this is going to be exciting as hell. Also, this fight is being offered for free on Spike. Don’t miss it.
My Pick: I refuse to pick against Sadollah. Seriously, it would be like booing Daniel LaRusso in the All-Valley Tournament. You just can’t do it and look at yourself in the mirror. Sadollah by decision.
Gore Factor: Medium. I think they’ll spend three rounds punching each other in the head, so we’re talking bloody boxing faces.

No two ways about it: this is not a good card on the surface. It’s mainly of interest to folks who watched the Heavyweights season of The Ultimate Fighter. Still, it’s often the cards full of no names that produce the best fights. When you get a group of fighters with nothing to lose and everything to gain, they try a lot harder than champions who want to maintain a death grip on the belt.

About Justin

Author, mammal. www.captainsupermarket.com
This entry was posted in Satellite Show Sports and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to UFC 114 Preview

  1. Justin says:

    Let’s see how I did.

    Jackson vs. Evans
    My pick: Evans by TKO r3
    What happened: Evans by decision

    Bisping vs. Miller
    My pick: Bisping by decision
    What happened: Bisping by decision

    Duffee vs. Russow
    My pick: Duffee by KO r1
    What happened: Russow by KO r3

    Nogueira vs. Brilz
    My pick: Nogueira by submission r2
    What happened: Nogueira by decision

    Sanchez vs. Hathaway
    My pick: Sanchez by TKO r2
    What happened: Hathaway by decision

    Sadollah vs. Kim
    My pick: Sadollah by decision
    What happened: Kim by decision

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