At Least I Never Voted For Joe

Joe Lieberman’s opportunistically titled Terrorist Expatriation Act (T.E.A.), which would strip citizenship from any American accused of helping foreign bad guys, has predictably gained tons of criticism and exactly zero out there in the world. So, today I’m not angry. I’m not here to tell you what you already know about Joe Lieberman. I’m just here to tell you about how happy I am about the way things turned out.

Nader-Haters take note: in the bizzaro alternate reality United States where up is down, left is right, Socialism and Fascism are terms with actual definitions, and majorities win elections, Joe Lieberman is president right now, the Tea Party is the Establishment, and anyone who doesn’t like it can drop off his or her proof-of-citizenship papers at the Mexican border. Bizzaro America sucks, and all of you that were all pissy with me for voting for Nader (even though I live in a state where Gore won) can now get in line to thank me for helping us not having to live there.

Things are bad out there in real America, with Arizona’s anti-Mexican act going into effect, the Gulf Coast oil spill slowly just becoming a part of our national landscape, and my favorite show, Lost, lurching towards its conclusion.

Life is hard, no doubt, but there’s a bright side: it’s spring and the standardized testing season’s coming to an end, buds are sprouting on all of fruit and vegetable plants, my kombucha mother’s happily thickening in the garden shed, and Joe Lieberman’s not calling the shots for America.

You’re welcome.

About Mark

It is the business of the future to be dangerous; and it is among the merits of science that it equips the future for its duties. -A.N. Whitehead
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2 Responses to At Least I Never Voted For Joe

  1. Clint says:

    Could you go into some more detail about how your vote for Nader stopped Lieberman from becoming President in 2000? Cuz mostly I’m mad about W. becoming president, and that happened…

    • Mark says:

      In the alternative United States where your vote counts, Lieberman didn’t become president in 2000. He became Vice President. And after two successful terms in which Al Gore defeated global warming, Fox News, poverty, Osama Bin Laden, and any and all detractors, Alterna-Joe waltzed into the White House in 2009.

      Trust me, way worse than those W. years.

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